Speaking of "not alone." I also want to really encourage you to  reach out; to find a mentor, group or a dear friend, at least to start with. God made us for fellowship, communing with one another. I am reminded of scripture that we are strongly encouraged to meet up together and encourage one another. I looked it up it is Hebrews 10:25. I find it fascinating that even in the beginning. God said it is not right for man to be alone. God knew that everyone needs people in their lives. Whether it be for a time or a long duration in life. One thing that I have learned from consistently being in fellowship with others. Please note the consistency aspect. To grow in deep and meaningful relationships one needs to be there. Granted at times, I may be in the room or at least use to be and not really be there, but I was there. You see I used to dissociate a lot and it would be hard to keep friendships alive. Mostly because I felt awkward going back to the person, since I didn't remember much of what we talked about. Believe me not for lack in trying. It was a rough season and not one that I would like to re-live. However, I wouldn't trade it either. God was molding me and shaping me and of course He still is today. I felt like that was a very pivotal time in my life. You see I could've given up when things got really tough; However, I leaned in more so to GOD and dove deep into HIS Words. What does God say about Anxiety, Depression, Hurt, Anger, and much more. Do you know? Have you read God's Word recently? What is stopping you from reaching out to God or to others? I don't have all the answers. Mostly I have more questions than answers, one thing I do know is that Satan wants to isolate us. If he can do that we are not powerful for God. That is why when we reach out to people and get others perspectives and share what is going on in our troubled souls, we give Satan less power. We give God our weaknesses and lean into Him and surround ourselves with believers and people who really follow the Lord, not just say that they are a "Christian", but really walk the walk outwardly and not just talk and say things to impress someone. It really comes from the heart that someone speaks and it is not there to put you down. To encourage you, yes and to be there with you in troubled times. Whether that be just listening or checking in from time to time. Those people are beautiful people to have in your corner. If you take nothing else away from this. Know that God loves you and He is for you. He doesn't want you to isolate yourself. He wants you to enjoy life and find Joy. Joy that comes from deep down knowing that Jesus is Lord and Savior. That He died on the cross for your sins and mine. That He has a plan for your life. Are you willing to surrender everything to Him?